


Relapse

by hondansadeensommar



Series: Multifandom Hurt/Comfort Oneshots [28]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce X 101 (TV), UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Purging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 21:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hondansadeensommar/pseuds/hondansadeensommar
Summary: “Let’s go home, okay?  We’ll come up with a plan, and we’ll fix this.”





	Relapse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nimbusink](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nimbusink).

Wooseok wrapped his arms around his legs, letting his chin rest on his knees as he tried to calm himself down.Things were not going well; changing medications in the midst of debut preparations hadn’t been a good decision, and Wooseok found himself struggling with his anxiety far more than he’d really anticipated.Now that they were only a few days away from their debut, things were spiraling out of control and Wooseok wasn’t sure how he could get his life back.

“_Hyung_?Are you okay?” a soft voice asked, as a hand stroked through Wooseok’s hair.Wooseok looked up slowly, forcing himself to take a deep breath and reaching up to wipe at the tears that had been streaming down his face as he saw Hyeongjun looking down at him.The boy knelt next to him, obviously concerned.“What’s going on?”

Wooseok shook his head.“I’m okay…” he began softly.

“No, _hyung_… you aren’t,” Hyeongjun replied, shaking his head and pulling Wooseok into a hug.“You’ve been different for a while now, and it keeps getting worse… and now you’re crying in the bathroom…”The boy’s voice trailed off.“_Aish_… _hyung_, you aren’t supposed to be alone, are you?”

Wooseok closed his eyes, leaning into the younger man’s hug.“Everyone’s so busy…” Wooseok began.

Hyeongjun stroked a hand through Wooseok’s hair, letting his chin rest on top of Wooseok’s head.“But you’re important, _hyung_,” Hyeongjun replied.“We should be making time for you, especially when you need us.”

Wooseok couldn’t help sobbing softly into the boy’s chest, wishing that he could get his brain back under control.

“I’ve got this, Hyeongjunnie,” a familiar voice commented.Wooseok looked up at the sound of Seungyoun’s voice, letting go of the teenager just long enough for Seungyoun to take Hyeongjun’s place wrapped around him.“Hey, Seokkie… it’s okay…”

Wooseok shook his head.“It’s not, though…” he replied, leaning into Seungyoun’s side.“Fuck… Youn, I’ve been purging…”

Seungyoun’s arms tightened around Wooseok, holding him close.“We can fix it… we can get you through this,” Seungyoun replied.“Hyeongjun-_ah_, go get Seungwoo-_hyung_.Don’t go into details if anyone else is around, just get him down here as fast as possible.”

Wooseok closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down enough to actually explain what was going on in his head.He felt as though his whole body was shaking, and he couldn’t bring his anxiety down to a manageable level on his own.“Breathe with me, Seokkie.Deep breaths, in and out,” Seungyoun instructed, gently stroking Wooseok’s back in time with his careful guidance to try and calm Wooseok’s breathing.“You’re doing great, Seokkie.Just stay with me.”

By the time Seungwoo came into the bathroom, Wooseok had calmed down significantly with Seungyoun’s help.While he was still anxious, it was back down to something significantly more bearable.“What’s going on?” Seungwoo asked softly, stroking a hand through Wooseok’s hair even as he addressed the question to Seungyoun.Wooseok closed his eyes, thankful that their leader seemed to understand that he wasn’t in a good place to answer a lot of questions.

“He told me he’s been purging again…” Seungyoun began.

Wooseok could hear the sharp intake of breath as the gravity of what was happening became apparent to Seungwoo.“_Aish_… how long has it been?” Seungwoo asked gently.

“Three days…” Wooseok began softly.

“Okay… it’s okay, we can still fix this,” Seungwoo replied softly.“Let’s go home, okay?We’ll come up with a plan, and we’ll fix this.”

Wooseok was thankful that the manager assigned to drive them to and from the company building that day didn’t question why his eyes were so red and puffy, or why Seungyoun refused to let go of Wooseok for even a moment as the group’s three eldest were taken back to the dorm.Seungwoo had texted Hangyul and Yohan before they left, instructing the ’99-liners to take control of the remainder of the night’s rehearsals and make sure the _maknae_ line made it home at a reasonable hour so that they could all get a decent night’s sleep.The goal was for the three eldest to get things sorted out before anyone else in the _maknae_ line had to see Wooseok collapsing under the pressure of their imminent debut.

“Go sit down, Seokkie,” Seungwoo commented, rubbing Wooseok’s back as the three of them kicked off their shoes in the entryway of their dorm.“Seungyoun-_ah_, will you go make him some tea?”

“Got it,” Seungyoun commented, guiding Wooseok to the couch before heading into the kitchen.Wooseok pulled his knees back up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them again as he waited for Seungwoo to come join him on the couch.

Wooseok closed his eyes as Seungwoo sat down next to him, wrapping an arm loosely around his shoulders.“What happened?” Seungwoo asked softly, stroking a hand through his hair.

“I don’t even know…” Wooseok replied, shaking his head.“I thought it was just the new meds needing more time to work.That it would work itself out in a few days.But it just kept getting worse, and then it spiraled out of control…”

The older man just kept stroking a hand through his hair, doing his best to calm Wooseok down and keep him from panicking again… or worse.“How long has it been this bad?” the older man asked softly, squeezing Wooseok gently.

“Too long,” Wooseok replied, shaking his head.“I don’t even know anymore, _hyung_…”

“Okay.Okay,” Seungwoo replied, squeezing him gently again.“Have you told your doctor yet?”

“Haven’t had a chance,” Wooseok replied.“He had to cancel my last appointment…”

“That’s what emergency lines are for,” Seungwoo commented.Wooseok closed his eyes, feeling sick despite the lack of judgment in the older man’s voice.“You know we need to call…”

“I have an appointment in the morning,” Wooseok began.

“Your doctor needs to know,” Seungwoo replied.“I would feel better if you called tonight… you really should have called as soon as things started getting bad again.”

Wooseok closed his eyes, fighting back the tears that were once again threatening to fall as he realized just how badly he could have screwed things up for _all_ of them.“Shit… shit, I’m fucking everything up again…” he began, leaning into the other man’s embrace.

“Hey, hey… you haven’t fucked anything up,” Seungwoo replied, pressing a soft kiss against Wooseok’s temple.“There’s still time to fix this… we’re going to get your medication adjusted, and we’re going to get you eating again, and you’re going to talk through all of this with your therapist.We’re going to be more vigilant about everything, and we’re going to fix this.Together.As a team.”

“Here…” Seungyoun commented, as the other man handed Wooseok a steaming cup of tea before moving to sit on Wooseok’s other side.“So, do we have a plan?”

“We’re working on it,” Seungwoo replied, stroking a hand through Wooseok’s hair again as Wooseok sipped on the hot cup of tea.

“You have a doctor’s appointment in the morning, right, Seokkie?” Seungyoun asked gently.Wooseok nodded, focusing on his cup of tea.

“I think it would be a good idea to call the emergency line for his doctor tonight, just to make sure he knows what’s going on,” Seungwoo added.

“How about we focus on the biggest symptom first, and at least get him to eat something?” Seungyoun suggested.“Let’s get some food in your stomach and _keep_ it there, and then we can worry about the other details.”

Wooseok nodded.“Yeah… yeah, okay,” he replied, nodding.

“Is there anything that you think might be easier to eat?Anything that your stomach can usually handle pretty easily?” Seungyoun asked.

“Can we just start small?Rice, maybe?” Wooseok suggested.

“We can start there, sure,” Seungwoo replied.“I think there’s some rice still in the cooker from breakfast this morning…”

“I’ll go get some,” Seungyoun commented, ruffling Wooseok’s hair gently as he left the room once again.

Seungwoo didn’t move.“Drink your tea, Seokkie… we’re going to have a lot to talk about after you eat.”

***

Wooseok didn’t move as he heard someone ringing the bell to request permission to enter the group’s dorm, knowing exactly who was going to be standing on the other side of the door.Instead, Wooseok stayed in Seungyoun’s lap, with his head resting against the taller man’s shoulder where he’d been since he’d finished eating a little over an hour earlier.His stomach was churning, but Wooseok knew that he had to just sit with that discomfort and not let himself give into the desire to just go into the bathroom and get everything out of his stomach.

“Is he okay?” an all too familiar voice asked, once Seungwoo had opened the door.

“We got him to eat something a little while ago, and so far he’s managed to keep it down,” Seungwoo replied.“Seungyoun is sitting with him right now.”

“How long did he say he’s been struggling?” Jinhyuk’s voice asked.Wooseok could tell that his friend was trying to keep his voice down to avoid being overheard.

“The purging started a couple of days ago.But it seems like the anxiety has been getting gradually worse since he switched medications a few weeks ago,” Seungwoo explained.“If I’d known, you know that I would have called you sooner…”

“I know… he’s good at hiding things he doesn’t want us to know,” Jinhyuk replied.“You know he hid it from us for months originally… I don’t know that we would have even found out if it wasn’t for the whole scandal sending him spiraling…”

“We did at least get him to leave a message for his doctor,” Seungwoo replied.“He has an appointment in the morning, so hopefully they can change his medication or something to get his anxiety under control again before things get any further out of hand…”

Wooseok closed his eyes as he heard Jinhyuk sigh.“He promised me he would call…”

“I don’t think he wanted to admit to himself that he was struggling,” Seungwoo replied.“We’ve all had a rough time of it, but I can’t even imagine going through everything that he’s been dealing with on top of the stress that we’re all under…”Wooseok felt Seungyoun squeezing him a little tighter; it was clear that he could hear the conversation taking place in the hallway, too.

“He’ll be okay, _hyung_… he has all of us to help him,” Jinhyuk replied.

Wooseok felt a hand stroking through his hair a moment later, and he opened his eyes to look up at his friend.“Hey, Seokkie…” Jinhyuk began.

“I’m sorry…” Wooseok began softly, sitting up a bit.

“Let’s talk, okay?Just us,” Jinhyuk replied, holding out a hand to help Wooseok up.Wooseok nodded, not letting go of the other man’s hand even as they made their way down the hall towards Wooseok’s bedroom.Jinhyuk shut the door behind them, while Wooseok sat down on the bed and pulled his knees up to his chest again.

“I know you’re upset…” Wooseok whispered, as Jinhyuk sat down next to him.

“I’m not upset… I’m worried,” Jinhyuk replied, putting his arm around Wooseok’s shoulders.“You promised that you would call me if things got bad, Seokkie…”

“I didn’t realize it was getting so bad… not at first,” Wooseok replied, shaking his head.“Then you were so busy._Everyone_ was so busy… and by the time I realized how bad it had gotten, I was afraid of admitting just how much I’d screwed up…”

Wooseok closed his eyes as Jinhyuk pressed a kiss against his temple.“You know that you can trust me.You can trust Seungwoo-_hyung_, and Seungyoun-_ah_.”Wooseok nodded slowly, knowing that Jinhyuk was right.“I’m going to start calling you every night.If you don’t answer, I’m going to call Seungwoo-_hyung_.I’ll call whoever I have to in order to make sure that you’re okay…”

“You don’t have to do that…” Wooseok began.

“Are you going to actually call me if things are bad this time?Because you promised me that you would call whenever you were struggling, and instead I had to get a call from Seungwoo-_hyung_ telling me that you’ve been purging for the past three days,” Jinhyuk replied.Wooseok couldn’t help shrinking in on himself at Jinhyuk’s words, knowing that his friend was right.“I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty.I just want you to understand why I don’t really trust you to call me right now.”

“I know I fucked up,” Wooseok replied.

Jinhyuk was quick to pull Wooseok into a tight hug.“And I know that you didn’t do it on purpose… that you can’t help the way your brain works,” Jinhyuk replied.“I just don’t want you to get hurt.None of us do.That’s why we’re pushing so hard on all of this.”

Wooseok sighed.“I know.”

“And you know that it’s because we love you, right?” Jinhyuk asked.

That did make Wooseok smile slightly, and he nodded as he leaned against the slightly older man.“I know.”

Jinhyuk stroked a hand through Wooseok’s hair, before moving to rub circles on his back.“How much longer do you have to be supervised right now?” Jinhyuk asked softly.

“At least an hour,” Wooseok sighed, letting his eyes close.

“Want to watch stupid cat videos on YouTube?” Jinhyuk asked.

Wooseok couldn’t help laughing at the suggestion.“We literally haven’t seen each other in more than three weeks, and _that’s_ what you want to do right now?” Wooseok asked.

“I mean, if you _really_ want to have an in-depth conversation about what’s going on in your head, we can do that,” Jinhyuk replied.“But I figured that you’ve probably hit your limit of heavy conversations for the moment, and that you would appreciate getting to just relax for a little while and watch something funny.”

“Okay… you’re right, cat videos sound like a _much_ better plan right now.”


End file.
